


The Distance From Here To Where You'd Be

by irelandhoneybee



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: F/M, I Love Me Some Pining Matt Murdock, Post Defenders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-07-01 01:13:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15763587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irelandhoneybee/pseuds/irelandhoneybee
Summary: Matt is on his way to see Karen after returning to Hell's Kitchen but ends up taking a bit of a detour





	The Distance From Here To Where You'd Be

Matt felt like the Earth had stopped moving the moment he sensed her.

Karen was at a café just a few blocks from her apartment. The weather was still just warm enough that sitting outside was possible, and that’s exactly what she was doing, camped out at a corner table, notebook open in front of her, pen in hand, mug of coffee filled to the brim. He had been walking to her apartment when he had heard her. Just two words, “yes, please” as her waiter had come outside and asked if she needed a refill, but hearing her voice had stopped him dead in his tracks. He had stood frozen for what seemed like an hour, but was probably only seconds before deciding to find a place where he could observe her. He should turn around and come back later. But being in her presence again was intoxicating; the thought of leaving right now almost unimaginable. 

He was a safe enough distance away; he didn’t think there would be any chance of her seeing him. But he felt like a creep. Spying on her had definitely not been part of his master plan of letting her know he had not, in fact, died at Midland Circle. 

He sensed her tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and memories rapidly came back of how many countless times she had done that in his presence. The little things that he had taken for granted for so long haunted him. 

He didn’t think she had been here for very long, but a part of him hoped she would be packing up to go home soon. As anxious as he was, this was definitely not something he wanted to happen in public. He was dying to see her, to talk to her, but he knew that casually walking up to her table, very much alive, was a horrible idea. 

But another part of him, a bigger part, the terrified part, was content to stay right here. He had no idea if she would even want to see him. Of course, he had thought the same thing last night before he had gone to see Foggy and had been proven wrong. While Foggy was shocked and undeniably angry  
with him, there had been no doubt in Matt’s mind by the time he had left his best friend’s apartment just how happy Foggy was to have him back. Matt wouldn’t have blamed him in the slightest if Foggy had wanted nothing more to do with him, and the fact that he did amazed him. He supposed that should give him some hope that Karen would react similarly. But he was too nervous to let his mind go there yet.

Foggy had wanted to call Karen over to his apartment last night, but somehow Matt had managed to convince him not to, to let him do it his way. Foggy had made him swear up and down that he would talk to her today, and Matt had promised he would, even though that had been his intention anyway. 

And it would happen today. It would. Just not right now. 

He tilted his head, listening as he heard the waiter approaching her table, this time bringing a plate with some kind of pastry on it. He was a little too far away to tell what kind, although he guessed it was a chocolate croissant, and smiled to himself, remembering how much she loved those. 

The waiter said something to her as he set the plate down, just low enough that Matt couldn’t make it out, but whatever he said made Karen giggle and once again the world stopped. A wave of joy, sadness, longing and anger hit Matt so strongly he had to wipe a tear from his eye. God, he loved that sound. And it been far too long since he had heard it. He clenched his fists, furious with himself. He wanted to be the one making her laugh. He should be the one making her laugh. He was suddenly missing her so intensely he could feel it in his bones. 

He wiped his eyes again, shaking his head, trying to snap himself out of it. He sensed her taking the first bite of her pastry, and smiled as he heard her give a little moan of pleasure. Definitely a chocolate croissant.

A group of teenagers, very loud teenagers, were walking towards where Matt was camped out, and he frowned, as they were distracting him from Karen. He should probably take this as his cue to leave. But he couldn’t do it. He started pacing, trying to collect his thoughts. He briefly wondered if he should head to her place now, but quickly dismissed it, realizing he didn’t want to ambush her. His next thought was to go home for a while, but it was a pretty safe bet he’d lose his nerve and talk himself out of doing this today if he did so. Maybe he would just follow her home, but he’d give her a wide berth. He’d take his time walking to her building, giving her a just a little more time to have a normal Saturday before he knocked on her door. 

He nodded, deciding that’s what he would do and realized the teenagers had long since passed him. He didn’t know how long he had been pacing, but he finally stopped and refocused on Karen. She was taking a sip of coffee, the last sip from the sound of it. She jotted something down in her notebook before tearing a piece of her croissant off and popping it in her mouth. Matt heard her waiter come back over to her table and ask if she wanted another cup of coffee. Matt froze, honestly not knowing if he wanted her answer to be yes or no. 

“No thanks, I’ll just take the check”, he heard her say before taking the final bite of her croissant, pulling her sweater a little tighter around himself. 

Matt let out a breath, a rush of adrenaline passing through him. 

He closed his eyes as Karen paid her bill, leaving a tip on the table once her waiter had headed back inside. He let himself daydream for a moment, picturing himself coming to this café with Karen. They’d sit outside, just like she had today, on a day just like today, warm but a definite chill in the air, fall’s arrival imminent. He pictured himself holding her hand across the table, distracting her with kisses while she tried to work, wiping chocolate from her lip, giving her his jacket if she got cold, and tears once again came to his eyes. He had no idea if such a scene was even possible after everything they had been through. But he wanted it more than he had wanted anything in a long time.

He heard Karen get up, pushing her chair in before leaving the restaurant, letting out a small sigh of relief that she was headed in the direction of her apartment. 

Matt ran a hand through his hair. This was it. He’d wait a little while longer before setting off, adrenaline once again pumping through his veins. He resisted the urge to call this off. As scared as he was, that vision he had of the two of them would definitely never come to anything if they didn’t start somewhere. He knew this would not be easy. He also knew how much he wanted Karen back in his life, and that thought alone was enough to shake off his lingering doubts. After a good twenty minutes had passed, Matt took one last shaky breath and started his deliberately slow walk to Karen’s apartment, his dreams of a future with her motivating him as he went.

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" by Snow Patrol (featuring Martha Wainwright)


End file.
